When Work People Show You Pictures Of Their Kids

November 30, 2010

Yep, that's what's happening.

Your coworker Eunice, who is the union rep for your company, presents for your approving comment a picture of her son, a high school junior, embracing a stuffed animal in his high school photograph.

Do not say: Holy shit.

Say instead: The yellow in that photograph, it’s so… vibrant.

Or: You know, funny, I think that’s the same background they used in my high school photos.

Your coworker (who is also your supervisor’s best friend) shows you a picture of his two month old daughter with one of those ridiculous gender-denoting ribbons taped to her bald head.

Do not say: Wow. I hope that present came with a return receipt.

Say instead: That ribbon compliments her eyes so beautifully.

Or: Do you have extra copies of this?

Your boss, who has just had quadruplets, and who will not be back at work for six months, thereby increasing your work load exponentially, mass-emails a photograph of the bundles of joy.

Do not “reply all“: Maybe someone should tell her that a womb is not a clown car. Am I right?

Do not reply at all. It’s safer that way.

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