From the category archives:

Two Sides

Tom Selleck Vs. His Mustache

February 3, 2012

INT. MAGNUM MANSION Tom Selleck puts on his jacket and is leaving to go film at Blue Bloods.  He catches sight of himself in the mirror.  And his glorious mustache.   MUSTACHE Where are you going, Tom? SELLECK To work, Mustache. To my acting job. MUSTACHE Oh, that’s fine. I think I’ll just stay here [...]

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Two Sides: King Vs. Double

October 27, 2011

You’re always talking about how I’m hogging the bed. No. We’re not discussing this. Do you know-just sheets alone-what this would cost us? And how, exactly, do you think we’d get it up the stairs? To say nothing of how little room we’d have in our bedroom. No. And this would be a solution to [...]

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Red Dawn and The Outsiders Sit Down to Chat

September 13, 2011

Red Dawn: Man, how long has it been? The Outsiders: Too long. Last I saw you, we were both being put in a cardboard box at that mom and pop video store outside of Ashland Ohio. RD: That’s right. Holy shit. VHS, huh? Who’d have thought? TO: Right? RD: Soo… TO: Uhh… RD: I don’t [...]

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Two Sides: “We’re Finally Making Progress On The Garage!” vs. “Bitch You Better Not Touch My Vuvuzela”

June 27, 2011

I’m so excited to get rid of all this stuff. Bitch you better not touch my vuvuzela. What’s a— I went halfway across the world for that little buzzing motherfucker. Babe, I just don’t underst— My dad has no legs because of that little piece of plastic, and I’ll be goddamned if you’re going to [...]

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