From the category archives:

This I Think Is True

This I Think Is True: Wisdom From My Aunt Mallory, Akron Ice Machine Mechanic Of The Year

March 12, 2012

I’m gonna sound like an asshole here, but I tell you what, I’d plum be out of a job if people would just unplug their machines and plug ‘em back in. That’s a reset right there, but no one seems to know it or even try it. But don’t fucking print that, or you can [...]

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This I Think Is True: Wisdom From My Cousin Sally, Greater Dayton Mortician of the Year

December 5, 2011

Everyone wants to know, Sally, what does a dead body feel like? Etcetera. For that, you’ll have to talk to someone who’s been doing this job for a month or two. Maybe three. But for me, after nineteen years, asking what dead bodies feel like is about the same as asking me what oxygen tastes [...]

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This I Think Is True: Wisdom From My Brother Ernie, Cincinnati Cement Truck Driver Of The Year

October 10, 2011

Here’s the thing. You know what they say about cement needing to stay in motion so that it won’t harden? It’s actually completely true. But does it require an entire gigantic metal egg to spin all day long on the back of a truck? No, of course not. Don’t be fucking ridiculous. That’s for the [...]

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