From the category archives:

Things That Are Less Emasculating Than They Seem

Last Night I Dreamt…

December 31, 2011

Of my father. Like I do every night. Except instead of trying to instill wisdom into me by way of automotive maintenance, he was part of a group of middle aged men, who came out onto a darkened stage one at a time and extolled the virtues (and comedic mishaps) of relaxed fit stonewashed denim [...]

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Paul Gilles, Age 40, is Confronted by Paul Gilles, Age 30

November 26, 2011

Paul Gilles, Age 30: Say that again. Please. It’s not that I didn’t understand the component pieces; at least, I could figure most of them out from contextual clues, but all put together, like: Does Not Compute. Paul Gilles, Age 40: Okay. I was just saying that if I did a session of P90X®, the [...]

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Training For Your First Marathon Sack Race

July 9, 2011

You’ve set yourself the goal of competing in your first real Distance Sack Race. No more 5.3K or 9.2K fun-hops for you. Great! Understand, though, that the difference between the fun-hop and the DSR is something closely akin to the difference between walking up the three flights of stairs at your office and climbing Mount [...]

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Steps I Take To Distance Myself From The ‘Martha Stewart Collection’ Logo On The Mug That I Mistakenly Swapped With My Coworker

April 18, 2011

1. Getting a receipt wet and sticking it onto the side of my mug 2. Calling out loudly “Who’s got The Marth up in here?” 3. Saying to the attractive woman next to me, who probably isn’t looking at mug until I’m holding it up in front of her, “I only have convicted felons on [...]

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Seven Reasons Why Working At Chuck E Cheese® Isn’t As Completely Emasculating As It Seems

March 14, 2011

1. Lifting All That Heavy Dough and Cheese for the Pizzas. This seems obvious to me, but maybe it shouldn’t be taken for granted. 2. Fast Ticket Processing. There’s something inherently masculine about moving quickly through a child’s ticket pile and getting her a vampire pencil or a plastic bracelet when she asks for it—all [...]

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