October 18, 2011
For the first week or so, it was kind of funny. My girlfriend went around on a kind of existential precipice-her eyes half-squinted, mouth slightly open, nostrils twitching slightly. Then her breathing would deepen, her body tensing, hands out to her sides, forgotten. Her eyelids flutter, a deep intake of breath, and then… nothing. “Mother-humper,” [...]
Check out the rest →
February 2, 2011
Did I feel guilty for all those days I put shredded cabbage down my high school toilet? No. Did Wayne the mute janitor deserve what must have been the most difficult, horrendous-smelling clog of his life? Yes. Why? You need to ask Wayne that one, then wait for him to write out the answer on [...]
Check out the rest →