From the category archives:

Last Gasp

(Not, Not) Knocking on Heaven’s Door

January 21, 2012

Do you know how much I’m going to miss you? I’m going to miss you so bad. But don’t hang on just for me. I want you to be free. If you’re seeing the light, go towards it. Fly towards heaven on the angel’s wings. Squeeze my hand twice if you can hear me and [...]

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My New Friend Fitz

September 19, 2011

Fitz always screams at seagulls when we’re walking on the boulevard. Sandyson Boulevard. He says they can’t probably hear him but he likes to do it anyway. I like how he says it as though he’s unsure, like they might be able to hear him. Fitz and me are pretty different but we’re both okay [...]

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Don’t Think About Yawning

August 14, 2011
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Yet More Excerpts From Another Awkward Eulogy…

May 14, 2011

Tim: And now, if you’ll all open your programs to page seventeen… Mother: Tim, son, it’s just me and your father here. You know that, right? And you know that we love you, and that’s why we’re here. To support you in your time of need, because that’s what loving parents do. Which we are. [...]

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The Murky Fringe Interviews The Murky Fringe

September 11, 2010

The Murky Fringe: So, it’s been a year. How’s it going for you? The Murky Fringe: How’s what going for me? TMF: You know, being clever, amusing yourself, attempting to get some kind of following. TMF: You know what? Fuck yourself. TMF: That would be interesting to attempt. TMF: For the last three hundred and [...]

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My Father

July 17, 2010

My father was the napkin you find wadded in your pocket the next morning, no name on it, the ink smeared, the penultimate digit illegible, something on the corner that might either be lipstick or blood. My father was the smell of old man and America in summer—new-mown grass and well-oiled leather, the sweet scent [...]

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DIY Double Bicyclist’s Internal Monologue

June 22, 2010

But really, what good can the individual do in the current democratic model? Past, of course-what did she want from Trader Joe’s? Some knishes, yes, but what else?-voting, donating time and money to those causes the individual supports, attempting through involvement in groups of like-minded persons to make the single voice a chorus, but-shit, and [...]

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Runners-Up in the 2010 Heublein Spirits Worst-Named Drink Contest

June 8, 2010

10. The Subdural Hemotoma 9. The Dirty Windshield 8. Shame and Regret in Liquid Form 7. Gary Coleman, The Later Years* 6. Big Jim’s ____________. 5. The Dangling Participle 4. The Rusted Turnbuckle 3. The Shart 2. The Creepy Uncle 1. Punxsutawney Phil’s Revenge * Too soon?

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Overwrought Endings: Naked Villainy

October 15, 2009

CONTRIBUTED BY MAX LIEBERMAN (Tucson, AZ) The gun flashed into her hand like a knife—only this knife shot bullets, significantly increasing its effective range as a weapon. She was too far away for me to karate chop her wrist, and anyway that’s a trick that only works once. I knew my chances were slim… slim [...]

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