From the category archives:

huffing

Things I Probably Wouldn’t Have Time For… If I Woke Up Tomorrow and was a World-Renowned Plastic Surgeon in Miami, Florida

July 30, 2011

Watching weekday marathons of VH1 Behind the Music. Sitting on my front porch, swatting at mosquitoes and sweating. Trolling the web for pictures of my ex-girlfriends to see if they got fat and/or unattractive. Watching weekday marathons of Teen Mom. Rearranging my VHS tape collection. Calling numbers from TV-mostly for personal injury, but also for [...]

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Inhalants Awareness Day at Theodore Dreiser Middle School

May 31, 2011

Who knows what this is? Anyone? Laurie Anne? That’s right, it’s a sock. You put it on your foot to keep your shoes from getting smelly. And to slide around the living room like Tom Cruise in Risky Business. You’re right, Principal Andrews. Absolutely right. None of you kids have probably seen Risky Business. Nor [...]

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How High Is Too High? Bob Villa Ranks The Intoxications Resulting From Working With Various Industrial Chemicals

October 24, 2010

6. Oil-Based Paint You want to paint over those old cabinets, but don’t want to sand them down first. Which means you’ve got to resort to oil-based paint. Which means that you’ll have a low-grade ache knotted around your brain-stem for at least twelve hours after you’re done painting. You might as well use this [...]

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