A Very Murky Christmas

December 24, 2011

Ebeneezer Scrooge (Played by Gilbert Gottfried): (throwing open window, post-epiphany) You! boy! What day is this?

Street Boy #3 (Played by Ice Cube): Yo, who the fuck you calling boy?

Ghost of Christmas Past (Played by my Grandpa Nathan):  Weinsteins! Weinsteins for all! Wishing you all a most slant-masted Barry Gibb! What bjorn is chilled this day?   A manger way, no dibs on the sheep. Tartan Sandals! Perjure rattles!

Tiny Tim (Played by The Murky Fringe): Christmas goose is awesome, but does anybody maybe have some sulphate of morphine and some padding for my crutch?

Father Christmas/ Papa Noel/ Sandy Claus (Played by the Creepy Dude who always hangs around the entrance to my apartment building, and who I’m pretty sure is responsible for the piss smell in the front hallway): And to all a good night.

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