From the monthly archives:

June 2011

How Do You Know That China Didn’t Create Hip-Hop?

June 30, 2011
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What They’re Literally Going to Say When Billy Ocean Dies

June 29, 2011

Pop-singer Billy Ocean, who earned his fame with the hits “Get Outta My Dreams and Into My Car”; “Carribean Queen”; and “When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going,” has died today. He was 71.

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The Murky Fringe Interviews Afroman (The Guy That Sang “Because I Got High”)

June 28, 2011

The Murky Fringe: Afroman. Sorry we had to lead off with the parenthesis. Just, you know. Afroman: It’s cool. People like to think of me as a one-hit wonder. I prefer to think of myself as either a one-hitter wonder or one really big hit. TMF: Right. Because of the marijuana. AM: Like, I’m talking [...]

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Two Sides: “We’re Finally Making Progress On The Garage!” vs. “Bitch You Better Not Touch My Vuvuzela”

June 27, 2011

I’m so excited to get rid of all this stuff. Bitch you better not touch my vuvuzela. What’s a— I went halfway across the world for that little buzzing motherfucker. Babe, I just don’t underst— My dad has no legs because of that little piece of plastic, and I’ll be goddamned if you’re going to [...]

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Some Advice for Your Son Regarding the Elephant in the Room

June 26, 2011

    Son, if you’re going to accept Nama’s birthday checks, then you have to sit through her stories about killing people in the war. Even if she wasn’t there. That’s the trade off.

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Me and Bob Ross: The Oncology Clinic

June 25, 2011

My aunt was going through chemo, in and out of the hospital. I was nineteen, on academic suspension from a third-rate technical college, between three week stints at jobs so incredibly dull that suicide seemed like a viable alternative. So my parents had me drive my aunt to her appointments, as a term of my [...]

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When You Say “Mother Earth” I Can’t Tell If You’re Joking

June 24, 2011

 

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If You Get Caught Between The Moon and New York City…

June 23, 2011

You’d better hope to shit you have oxygen. I mean seriously. “The best thing you can do is fall in love?” With what? Interstellar radiation? Your own immanent demise? And don’t give me that shit about “it doesn’t say ‘If you get caught at a point equidistant between the moon and New York City’ because [...]

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A Generic Letter of Recommendation For Anyone

June 22, 2011

  CONTRIBUTED BY JAMES BEST (Brooklyn, NY) Dear (Company, Important Person, Manhunter), You are going to love (your name here).  Like love love.  When I hired/found/cohabitated with the person I named, I asked him/her straight up, “Are you Adonis/Female Adonis?” And (name) smiled that bewitching/blast furnace smile and I almost died/explodified.  If there was a [...]

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Feliz Cumpleanos, James Frey

June 21, 2011

You are a liar. You are a shitty writer. You are now known as the “Thomas Kincaide of the Literary World.” And it’s not your birthday. Still, Feliz Cumpleanos, James Frey. You stand as a testament to everything that is wrong with the place where merges Capitalism, Recovery, and the Nonfiction Genre.

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The Things I Like About Post Falls, Idaho

June 20, 2011

We are proud to present another installment of the Murky Fringe feature “In Their Own Words.” You’ll of course remember the previous installment, ‘ The Things I Like About Sparks, Nevada.’ Now, for this week’s feature: “The Things I Like About Post Falls, Idaho” As always, these are testimonials of true residents. Wendy Bathmore, Mother [...]

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Hirohito Ice Cream

June 19, 2011

  Still hasn’t caught on in China.  

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Negative Viability

June 18, 2011

What would be the harm? There would be plenty of potential harm, I assure you. Are you afraid of success, Cassie? Is that what this… No, Rachel. I am not afraid of success. I am afraid of failure. Which this would be. An instance of. I just thought maybe we could send out a query. [...]

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Asian Jaw-Reduction Surgery Photo Commentary

June 17, 2011

       

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The Unexamined Arsonist

June 16, 2011

There were two events, either one of which or perhaps both could have started it. The sense that was understanding. The understanding crystalline at maybe five or perhaps six that everyone, everyone was psychic except me. My mother looked at me once after she’d scolded me for eating all the bitter baker’s chocolate, looked at [...]

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