Back From the Peace Corps, Lying About Mongols

May 25, 2011

They’re good people, for sure, you just can’t reason with them. Once a Mongol has made up his mind, that’s it. You could light his yurt on fire and if he said he’s staying in there, then he’ll go down in flames.

Huge vegetarians, the Mongols. But they don’t consider blood or the flesh of animals meat like we do.

Of course they’re fans of Chinese gymnastics. It’s all they talk about-even during the winter olympics. They gloat too, which makes them insufferable.

Yes, they all claim some link to Genghis Khan. It’s always like, “Hey did you know I’m related to Genghis Khan?” And I’m like “No shit?” I had to pretend to believe all of them, though it might have been true for some.

Sexual promiscuity is encouraged well into old age. I’d heard that their women didn’t suffer from menopause, but who would believe that. Then I saw the way that the old women were always coming home from some different yurt, night after night. They make guys from my fraternity look like prudes.

They can’t throw a fucking ball to save their life. There’s a third grade girl in Oklahoma somewhere who can throw better than any Mongol. It’s just embarrassing.

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