From the Mouth of Junior Boys‚Äô Volleyball Coach Eli “Big Digs” Parker

March 9, 2011

“Teddy, you‚Äôve got to set that ball like you‚Äôre lifting up a little person onto the cupboard.”

“Kneepads? This ain‚Äôt cocksucker camp.”

“Will somebody serve the damn volleyball over the net before I light myself on fire?!”

“It‚Äôs called a kill because that‚Äôs what you‚Äôve got to imagine you‚Äôre doing to his whole¬†god-damned¬†family.”

“Sub for Hector. He don‚Äôt wanna dig any more.”

“Water break? This ain‚Äôt no P.O.W. rescue. I ain‚Äôt no Charlie.”

“Everybody touch the net. Touch. The. Net. Now stay there. Think about yourself and your teammates. Think about your substitute teachers and how hard they work.”

“Socks up!”


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