Things Found in a Park Slope Snowbank

December 30, 2010

A thousand thousand grossy things there were. And my shoe.

A child’s mitten.

An empty Skittles bag.

An empty Seagram’s Gin pint bottle.

Three different deposits of dog feces.

A different child’s mitten*

An empty 24-ounce can of Steel Reserve High-Gravity Malt Liquor.

Something that was either the contents of someone’s stomach or take-out Chinese.

A condom, unrolled and draped in such a way as to suggest being flung perhaps from a moving vehicle.

My shoe, full of slush and other fouler things, on it’s way to the trash.

*That is not to say that the two mittens belonged to different children. Both mittens might have belonged to the same child who, single mittened upon returning home, was presented with another set of mittens and the admonishment to be more careful with their hand-clothes. Which, the mittens were pretty small, so you have to wonder why the parent(s) didn’t just get the kid one of those mitten sets with the string that attaches them, running through the sleeves of his or her jacket (the kid would have a jacket, right?) and across the kid’s back, such that it would be more or less physically impossible for the kid to lose his or her mittens. I mean, how much more could it possibly cost to get a pair of the mittens with the string?


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