Tuesday Morning in Lockup

November 2, 2010

Some shit is just unforgivable.

I know this is maybe kind of not done, but what are you guys in for?

I egged somebody’s car.

That doesn’t seem so…

Then I caught it on fire.

Wow.

Just some Halloween shit, you know?

I hear you.

How about you?

Me?

Seems like maybe I’ve seen you down at Slapshots?

Second best hockey-themed sports bar in Western Mass.? You bet.

Soo…

I punched some fucking guy came to my door-probably eighteen or nineteen-no costume, just like holds out a Price-Chopper plastic shopping bag to me, like I’m supposed to put some candy in it.

Whoah.

Some people, you know? They just disrespect the holiday. Makes me sick.

Me too. Can’t stand that kind of shit. So what about you, guy?

Yeah. Gotta say, you don’t look like you belong in here.

Well, stupid thing really. I… well, I totally forgot which day it was-when Halloween comes on a Sunday, am I right?-and so the first kid comes to the door and I panic. So I go to the fridge, it was either some mostly wilted carrots or a jar of molasses. Soo…

So what?

Yeah, what?

I gave out spoonfuls of molasses. For Halloween. And maybe one of the parents got concerned. And maybe they called the police.

With the same spoon?

Yeah. I, uh… yeah.

That’s sick.

Yeah. What say we lumberjack this scumbag?

I’m with you. heads or tails?

Let’s call it half-and-half.


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