Sexually-Driven Extensions to Popular Anecdotes: Dustin Hoffman and Laurence Olivier

May 28, 2010

While filming Marathon Man with Laurence Olivier, Dustin Hoffman stayed up several nights in a row so he could appear thoroughly exhausted for an important scene with the famous British performer.

Upon finding out that Mr. Hoffman had done this, Laurence Olivier said, “Next time, my boy, try acting.”

“Next time,” said Hoffman, “try minding your own business.”

“Next time,” said Olivier, “try not to wear such short shorts.”

“Next time,” said Hoffman, “try not to give me an erection.”

“Next time,” said Olivier, “try tucking it into the top of your shorts to stabilize it.”

“Next time,” said Hoffman,”why don’t you show me.”

“Next time, my boy, I will.”

[humping]

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