Report for Mrs. Lempkin’s Science and Nutrition Class

April 22, 2010

Things I Know About Peanut Butter, by Rachel Millecker:

Peanut butter was discovered by George Washington Carver, an African-American  scientist, but he didn’t get rich from it.

Peanut butter does not contain butter, only peanuts.

Peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Peanut butter tastes very good with jelly.

Peanut butter does not taste very good with petroleum jelly.

Petroleum jelly also sticks to the roof of your mouth.

My brother doesn’t get to use the peanut butter by himself anymore.

Also, he gets in trouble for saying penis butter instead of peanut butter.

This is because a penis is the man’s thing that he puts in a woman to have a baby.

Additionally, peanut butter is quite nutritious, which is why the government gives it away for free to poor people.

Heidi Prosser’s family gets free peanut butter once a month at the VFW Hall.

Also, they get cheese, which is also quite nutritious, and keeps poor people from dying from diseases of hunger.

Free peanut butter and cheese are not really free. The tax-paying workingman pays for them.

Free peanut butter and cheese make people want to stay on welfare.

My dad hates peanut butter.

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